some updates

Ok for starters I am typing with one paw these days. I have a medial condile fracture in my left elbow. Yea, I didn't know had elbows either. Basically, I have a broken leg. I'll get to that later. First, I have to tell you how f-a-t Denise has gotten, she is very sensitive about it, so be careful. Apparently she is due, excuse me 'past-due-dam-it!' (her words), to have a baby (any day now). From the looks of her you'd think she was having a litter. Humans get so wrapped up in having a baby. yes, 'a baby' just one, my kind, we have multiples, all the time and they don't need all the stuff a single human baby needs. You should see what Denise and Mike have done around here. The back bedroom has new 'baby furniture'. There is all kinds of stuff back there, clothes, toys, blankets, playmats and diapers. Diapers, I don't see why they don't just throw some newspaper down. For goodness sake the weather is getting warmer I am sure their little pup would like to be outside, they don't need diapers! The meat locker room is filled with other baby stuff, playpens, car seats, swings, you name it, they've got it (and more than one of each item). They have so many wonderful and generous friends and family members. There is a pretty little bed in our bedroom but apparently it is off limits for me. Which is fine because I can't jump into it with this darn cast. Maybe Denise is having a litter! I sense that there is only one. Plus that is what Denise keeps saying.

Denise has been around for quite a few days now. I don't think she is working anymore. I like having her around. I get to go outside more during the day. She hasn't taken me for any walks, and Lord knows she could use the exercise herself. But apparently, I am not allowed to go for long walks, something about knocking the pins out of my elbow. She spends her days walking around cleaning and picking up after Mike and I oh and herself; she is probably the messiest. Have you seen her closet?? She has vacuumed my hair of the couch several times over the past few days. She has also been taking me outside to brush me. She hates my hair. It's one of the things that makes me so pretty.

When Denise is lying around I get to see her belly move, which my guess is, it's her pup. I have felt the little sucker kick a few times when Denise was keeping me warm. I've never had any pups myself but I image that must feel pretty strange. I am excited to meet the little tike. I hope it will share it's cookies with me, most kids love to do that.

Oh back to my broken leg, I'm old and clumsy. I shouldn't jump and run on hardwood floors. They are slippery. Denise and Mike should really do a better job of keeping my toenails trimmed. I lose all traction when they are too long. I know about all the things I shouldn't do, but I am still going to do them. I am a naughty dog with a reputation to uphold!

Yeah, I know it's been a while

So I know I haven't written since January, where shall I begin? Once you hear about what I've been up to you'll know why I haven't written. Let's see, January and February were pretty quiet months around here. Lots of snow, so I really didn't get out much. I just stayed indoors and fought off the mice. I'm still trying to figure out how to get to those flying squirrels that are living in the walls of the house. I can chew on wood pretty good but Denise and Mike always yell at me when I do that. I can still scare away the deer in the yard just by barking at the window.
In March, my niece Ashlyn was born, she is really cute. She also has her own blog. I love to go and look at the pictures of her. She lives all the way across the country in San Francisco. Denise has been there 3 times this year, she hasn't taken me once. I know that rascal cousin of mine, Wilson, lives out there too. I think I'd like SF, I hear there are lots of dogs and dog parks there. Denise and Mike never take me to dog parks. I don't know why. They never trust me, they think I'll bite some other dog. Well, that is probably true, I would like to bite other dogs.
Of course Denise and Mike went out to SF in April to visit Cathleen, Michael, baby Ashlyn and that hyper-little Wilson. They had fun and talked all about the hills and the baby, blah blah blah...
So May was an interesting month...I ended up in solitary confinement. It wasn't until the end of the month, Memorial Day Weekend. I was staying at Hillside Lake for a few days. You know keeping mom and Dad company. They love me!! Since they love me soooo much, I always try to protect them. They are always complaining about the damn white cat that is always in the yard and under the cars. While I was there I wanted to help them out. One day while mom was taking me out to out me on the runner, I saw that rotten cat. So I did the most sensible thing I could think of, I took off, at full speed of course to get that feline. How was I supposed to know that mom was going to get tangled up in my leash??? I thought she would have let me go to catch the darn cat. Well she didn't, instead she held onto me and I pulled her right down to the ground. I did feel badly afterwards. Especially when I found out I had actually broken her leg. Denise was pissed to say the least. I am now forbidden to go over there with out supervision. What the...??? That is my childhood home. Everyone else is free to go over there whenever they like and collectively, I think the rest of the Baker children have done way worse to the parents then just breaking a leg. I mean, come on, mom is human, it's not like they had to 'put her down'. You know that's what would have happened to me if I broke my leg, jeese!
I am still suffering the repercussions of that event. Every party we have here in Cold Spring, I have to be tranquilized. Which can be pretty wild, but I always feel hung over the next day. I haven't figured out how Denise keeps getting those tranquilizers in me but she does. Sneaky b*tch. On Father's Day I was so doped up, I didn't even know that I broke my darn toe nail. But because of my super canine powers I grew that nail back in a week. Denise feels so guilty about doping me up that she gives me lots of treats and then takes me on super long walks.
Summer came and went but not without some visitors and thunder storms. Patrick, Tracy and Colin were here. I think the Baby Cat was here at some point to. Mike had his friends over for a few bbq's. Which is actually kinda funny, I was never allowed at parties before I broke mom's leg (Oh, she is fine now by the way), now I get to stay for the parties and meet everyone. When people meet me they are like "Oh, she is so pretty, she is so sweet. I can't believe that she has done some of those things." Then I'll bark or snap at them, just so they don't think I'm 'too soft'. A girls gotta keep up her image.
We also had some snakes visit over the summer, you should see how scared Mike gets, it's so funny. Denise and Mike were really thankful that Patrick was here when the snakes showed up. (At the time the snakes came out, Mikes' friends children were all sitting on the couch watching Nickelodeon.) Patrick just came out of the back room, caught all three snakes, threw them outside and went back to bed, all while talking on his cell phone. He's so cool.
Oh and in the summer there are lots of thunder and lightening storms. Humans just don't understand the danger, the sky could fall on them. I keep trying to tell them. I even gone as far as chewing the molding off the french doors. I also tried to chew the door off the linen closet. I wish I had opposable thumbs. This way I could open doors instead of trying to chew through them for safety.
Finally in September, I got to meet Cousin Ashlyn, she is really cute. She is too small to get any food off of. In a few years when she's walking around with food, I know she'll let me have some. I hear she is really going to like steak, yummy.
Ashlyn must have liked me so much that she came back to visit in October. Everyone is saying that she came back because of Patrick and Tracy's wedding but I am not so sure, she stayed at my house. She loved it when I jumped into bed with her. She also watched me wherever I went. I bet she was thinking about how much she wants to give me food. She would laugh and giggle whenever I went near her.
There was also another party at the house while she was here. A whole bunch of new people were here. Eating chili and carving pumpkins. I was a little high, but not too much, just enough to make me sleepy. But once again all the visitors thought I was 'so pretty and sweet'. I was too tired to snap at anyone. Maybe I am getting a little soft.
Mike and Denise are hoping so because apparently they are going to have litter. Oh I guess with humans it's not a litter, they are only having one at a time. Well I think I've brought you up to date.

Someone's been sleeping at my house

So I spent most of Christmas Day at home. In the morning Mike, Denise and I opened gifts. I don't think they realize that it is not fun for me to open gifts. They put my snacks in a bag and laughed as I tried to get them out, not funny. Patrick emerged from the back of the house in the late morning, he didn't make me work for my treats. I could smell The Baby when he came out of the back of the house. (I know that rotten cat was here over the holidays. Her hair is every where; so is someone elses, I'll get to that later)
When everyone was up and loaded with caffeine, we got in the car and went to the center. It was pretty icy out there but Mike held on to me. I led everyone on a walk through the woods and along Indian Brook Road. I got to wish one of my dog friends a Merry Christmas. We didn't see any chipmunks or deer, not a good hunting day. I was able to leave many dirty little gifts along the way, hee hee hee.
After our walk every left to celebrate Christmas with the family. I got to stay home and contemplate how to get into the back of the house. I still haven't come up with any ideas, no thumbs! One of these days, one of these days...
Christmas night there was more company, Liz and Matthew came to visit me. I've heard a lot about Matthew but this is the first time I met him. He's tall and smells good. He didn't put any of my snacks in a bag, so I like him. I wish he had let me take him for a walk, I would have taken him up the well road, maybe up to 301, hmm, that would have been fun. I hope I can take him for a walk the next time he visits.
Everyone slept late the next day, I was so bored. Then when everyone finally got up, they all left to go ice skating. Don't they know how dangerous ice skating is? They could end up spread eagle flat on their faces, ugh, humans. They all came back safe and sound. They also brought Peter back to visit me. I LOVE Peter, he's one of my favorites. I'd like to go visit him in Brooklyn one of these days.
That evening, we went for a car ride, I love the car! We went to Hillside Lake to visit Mom, Dad and Annmarie. I love it there. (Mom is my all time favorite!) I actually ended up staying there for quite a while. I had my choice of beds to sleep in, I felt like Goldilocks! I had a great time hanging out with Dad. Archie is kind of annoying, all cute and puppy-ish, ick. Still I had a good time.
While I was at Mom and Dad's I wasn't sure what I did to deserve such a wonderful vacation from Cold Spring. But upon my return to my home I soon found out why I was actually banished to Hillside Lake. I knew I would come home to The Baby's hair, I'm used to that. But as I sniffed around I noticed another dog smell! No it wasn't that bratty cousin of mine, I'd recognize his smell from a mile away (PU). No it was a smaller dog, female, mid-westerner I think. Denise hasn't mentioned her but I know she was here and she brought another human with her, no one I've ever met before hmmm but I'll find out soon enough.
Denise took me for a long walk this morning. I could have stayed out longer but it was snowing and Denise was getting all wet, so she cut our walk short.
That's all for now! May you all have a Happy and Healthy 2008!

Catching up

So Summer and Fall have come and gone, (although I think it is still officially Fall) the snow has begun to fall. I have to admit the snow is very pretty to look at; it also makes it much easier to spot those squirrels and chipmunks when I am standing guard at the window. Denise loves the snow. I would probably like it more too if it didn't get stuck between the spaces in my paws. It is like 'brain freeze' on my feet and legs, burrrrrr!
I do miss the summer time. Denise used to take me hunting everyday, mostly just for small game (squirrels, chipmunks, baby turkeys). I am much quicker than Denise when it comes to hunting. She is always going the other way when I am about to pounce on a chipmunk, ugh, humans! There were a few occasions where we came across some full grown turkeys and some deer. I don't think I could ever catch a turkey, they can fly like those darn pigeons in Brooklyn. For years I tried to catch pigeons, I'd be just close enough and wouldn't you know it they would just fly off. I know I should just give up bird hunting altogether, but alas it's what I like to do. Now the deer, I know if Denise would let me go I would definitely be able to out run a deer. I am not sure what I would do after I caught up with the darn things, they are pretty big. Maybe I would just bite their ankles. I just want to put them in their place, for Mike's sake. He spends so much time all spring, summer and fall taking care of our yard, and those deer eat just about everything he plants. I hate to see Mike so broken hearted over his yard work. Personally, I think he should spend more time taking me hunting rather than working in the yard. I bet he'd let me catch some of those critters. One day, over they summer, Mike had some coworkers helping him regrade the driveway one of those knuckleheads let me out of the house. It was the best day ever! Puchard, just opened up the front door and actually encouraged me to come outside. Mike was not happy, but I sure was. I had like 5 hours of freedom. I went into the woods up onto 301; tried to cause a few accidents, it was great. Oh, the good 'ol days of summer, ah, just a distant memory now. Silly me, I decided to see if the water bowl in my pen was full and Mike locked to gate behind me, he's smarted than I think sometimes.
When fall began, Denise started back at work and our hunting days practically came to an end. We did go out every weekend, it just wasn't the same. I turned 11 back in October. I am still pretty spry and energetic, at least that is what I hear people say about me. Thanksgiving was a great. Mike and Denise invited so many people over to visit with me. It was great to see Pete and Liz, I miss living with them. Patrick was in town, I was hoping he would let me run around in the woods by myself, but it didn't happen. Cathleen was here several times; I could smell that cousin of mine, Wilson, on her clothes. I was hoping she would have brought him over to visit, I love barking at him. I heard Denise saying that Cathleen was expecting another cousin, yes, I can't wait! I hope my new cousin will be bigger than Wilson, so I can play with him/her. Kathryn and Chris came to visit me as well, I think they live at my old apartment in Brooklyn, they smell like they do. I say, that guy Chris can come visit anytime, now, he knows how to walk a dog. He let me take charge, we ran through the trail past the wood shed together, wow, that was fun! We didn't get to do any hunting, but I bet he would be a great hunting companion. Maybe next time...
So now the holiday season is upon us. I am sure we will have more visitors, I can't wait. I wonder who will take me on my next adventure.

It has been a while since I've written. It's hard to get on the internet here in the woods. I have so much to write about, snakes, frogs, cats the list goes on and on...
Maybe I should start with the 4 foot black racer snake. I was out on my lead sunning myself as usual (I know, I know sunblock, ugh, the wrinkles) when a snake came along to join me. I wouldn't have minded but I know how Mike feels about snakes. So I started barking like mad to get his attention. It worked. Mike over, saw the snake then started screaming like a girl for Patrick to come out, then he ran inside. If he had a tail, I am sure it would have been between his legs. Patrick came out to see what all the racket was about. Of course Patrick couldn't just pick the snake up and toss it into the woods. He taunted and teased it picked it up and the darn thing bit him. This is when he decided to put it back in the woods. I watched that snake climb one of the trees right at the end of the driveway, she'll be back.
I have discovered a reason to spend time in my pen. Sometimes when I am back there I can see The Baby in the window. She sits there and meows at me and I bark at her, it's a blast. But like all good times, the grown ups interfere, ugh! Mike really has no patients for me, I don't blame him, I am a real pain in the a**. The Baby does antagonize me, as I do to her:) It's really quite amusing for us. I am a little jealous of her. She gets to go out into the woods, when I have to be tied up or in my pen. (I admit I would run into traffic if they ever do let me free.) Even though the cat can run around and tease me, I did scare the crap out of her the other day. She was teasing me, just sitting where I can't reach her. I was barking away at her but then Denise pulled in the driveway and I got distracted so the cat came closer, silly girl. I turned around and chased her right up a tree! She was so scared, it was hysterical.
The pickerel frogs are delicious this time of year. Denise doesn't like it when I catch them. It was a delightful surprise to find one in the kitchen today. Usually I have to go outside to get a good frog. Apparently while I was outside The Baby was roaming freely about the house when a frog hopped in under the screen door. It probably would have hopped back out but The Baby cornered it and then chased it under the 'fridge. While Denise and Mike were out the little thing hopped out and I caught it! It is currently mushed on the kitchen floor. Denise is too grossed out to touch it. Maybe Mike will pick it up, I' done with it.
Ooo, I just hear Denise talking on the phone, I think I am going to have company today. Yeah! I hear Liz is coming up by train and Patrick is coming by with some of his students. I hope I don't need to bite any of them. Sometimes people need to be put in their place.
Enough for now, I hear Denise coming out of the shower, she gets mad when I am using the internet, blah blah blah.

I DID IT!

So, Mike put me out in the pen on Saturday, it was a beautiful day and I was more than happy to go outside. What he didn't realize was that he forgot to latch the gate ha ha ha...OK I didn't realize it right away either. I was getting bored of being out there by myself, so I tried to rattle the gate to see if I could get Mike to come out and play with me. I swear on my life that all I was doing was trying to get a little attention (that is all I ever want:) and wouldn't you know the gate just opened right up for me. (I was free!!!) So I ran up to 301, just to tell all the cars to slow down. Denise is always complaining about how fast they go, I thought I would help her out. (Oh Denise was in Brooklyn on Saturday when all of this happened). I got up there and ran around, no one listened, a few people beeped their horns, the police sounded their sirens (yes, I got the police involved!) Mike did eventually notice I was free (free, free, free, love the way that sounds). He came out and tried to give me a pup-a-roni (they are delicious). Mike also took away my water bowl (he cut off my damn water supply). I tried to get water from the stream but I was too scared, that water is fast and I am afraid to get wet, I might melt. I ran around for a bit longer. But it was getting hot and I was getting thirsty. Mike was also pissed b/c he was suppose to drive to Brooklyn to meet up with Denise. I decided I wanted to come in, but I wanted Mike to work for it, I let him win (don't let him tell you any different). I had the whole house to myself for the afternoon, it was great.
Saturday night company came! I love company. Patrick showed up around 9:30. They kept talking about how he brought the baby with him. I never saw a baby, but something didn't smell right.
On Sunday I spent most of the day enjoying the sun. When Denise and Patrick started moving his things into the back room, they were still talking about 'the baby'. I still haven't seen any baby but I have seen a calico cat walking in and out of the house. She was in my pen, she was on my rocks and under my trees. I kept trying to scare her away but she just sat there and puffed herself up. I think she was trying to look bigger and tougher than me, yeah, nice try. Today, Monday, I was inside and I saw her outside, ha, ha. I got to sit on my red couch all day. She had to stay outside in the sun and run around and chase things and do whatever she wanted, wait a minute...

Fenced In

So Mike finished the pen for me. I am not sure why he let Denise in first. She went around to 'inspect it'. She found a few spaces where she thought I could squeeze through (she's right, I could have), I'm pretty flexible. She made Mike put a couple of huge rocks near spaces under the fence. It is a pretty sturdy fence, the gates are questionable, I'll work on escaping through there. I overheard Denise saying they should put chicken wire around the bottom of the gate. (I love chicken, it's better than the new dry food they have been feeding me. That stuff gives me gas. My flatulence keeps waking me up!) I really hope they decide to move my red couch outside on warm days, that would be perfect.
There was a thunder storm the other night, it was loud. I did my best to wake up Denise and Mike. It is really hard to wake them up, I whined, I whimpered, I even tried shaking the bed with my trembling body. But they wouldn't wake up. I was trying to warn them to run for cover, you never know when the whole sky is going to come crashing down on you. So I decided to just look after myself, I kicked some of Denise's shoes out of her closet and slept in there all night.
So I noticed Mike made some purchases at Home Depot. He bought me a lawn mower, a new weed whacker and a table saw ( I can't wait to use that thing). I wonder if I can use it to trim my claws? He also bought me a couple of forsythia bushes, although he told Denise he bought them for her. I know he loves me more:)