Yeah, I know it's been a while

So I know I haven't written since January, where shall I begin? Once you hear about what I've been up to you'll know why I haven't written. Let's see, January and February were pretty quiet months around here. Lots of snow, so I really didn't get out much. I just stayed indoors and fought off the mice. I'm still trying to figure out how to get to those flying squirrels that are living in the walls of the house. I can chew on wood pretty good but Denise and Mike always yell at me when I do that. I can still scare away the deer in the yard just by barking at the window.
In March, my niece Ashlyn was born, she is really cute. She also has her own blog. I love to go and look at the pictures of her. She lives all the way across the country in San Francisco. Denise has been there 3 times this year, she hasn't taken me once. I know that rascal cousin of mine, Wilson, lives out there too. I think I'd like SF, I hear there are lots of dogs and dog parks there. Denise and Mike never take me to dog parks. I don't know why. They never trust me, they think I'll bite some other dog. Well, that is probably true, I would like to bite other dogs.
Of course Denise and Mike went out to SF in April to visit Cathleen, Michael, baby Ashlyn and that hyper-little Wilson. They had fun and talked all about the hills and the baby, blah blah blah...
So May was an interesting month...I ended up in solitary confinement. It wasn't until the end of the month, Memorial Day Weekend. I was staying at Hillside Lake for a few days. You know keeping mom and Dad company. They love me!! Since they love me soooo much, I always try to protect them. They are always complaining about the damn white cat that is always in the yard and under the cars. While I was there I wanted to help them out. One day while mom was taking me out to out me on the runner, I saw that rotten cat. So I did the most sensible thing I could think of, I took off, at full speed of course to get that feline. How was I supposed to know that mom was going to get tangled up in my leash??? I thought she would have let me go to catch the darn cat. Well she didn't, instead she held onto me and I pulled her right down to the ground. I did feel badly afterwards. Especially when I found out I had actually broken her leg. Denise was pissed to say the least. I am now forbidden to go over there with out supervision. What the...??? That is my childhood home. Everyone else is free to go over there whenever they like and collectively, I think the rest of the Baker children have done way worse to the parents then just breaking a leg. I mean, come on, mom is human, it's not like they had to 'put her down'. You know that's what would have happened to me if I broke my leg, jeese!
I am still suffering the repercussions of that event. Every party we have here in Cold Spring, I have to be tranquilized. Which can be pretty wild, but I always feel hung over the next day. I haven't figured out how Denise keeps getting those tranquilizers in me but she does. Sneaky b*tch. On Father's Day I was so doped up, I didn't even know that I broke my darn toe nail. But because of my super canine powers I grew that nail back in a week. Denise feels so guilty about doping me up that she gives me lots of treats and then takes me on super long walks.
Summer came and went but not without some visitors and thunder storms. Patrick, Tracy and Colin were here. I think the Baby Cat was here at some point to. Mike had his friends over for a few bbq's. Which is actually kinda funny, I was never allowed at parties before I broke mom's leg (Oh, she is fine now by the way), now I get to stay for the parties and meet everyone. When people meet me they are like "Oh, she is so pretty, she is so sweet. I can't believe that she has done some of those things." Then I'll bark or snap at them, just so they don't think I'm 'too soft'. A girls gotta keep up her image.
We also had some snakes visit over the summer, you should see how scared Mike gets, it's so funny. Denise and Mike were really thankful that Patrick was here when the snakes showed up. (At the time the snakes came out, Mikes' friends children were all sitting on the couch watching Nickelodeon.) Patrick just came out of the back room, caught all three snakes, threw them outside and went back to bed, all while talking on his cell phone. He's so cool.
Oh and in the summer there are lots of thunder and lightening storms. Humans just don't understand the danger, the sky could fall on them. I keep trying to tell them. I even gone as far as chewing the molding off the french doors. I also tried to chew the door off the linen closet. I wish I had opposable thumbs. This way I could open doors instead of trying to chew through them for safety.
Finally in September, I got to meet Cousin Ashlyn, she is really cute. She is too small to get any food off of. In a few years when she's walking around with food, I know she'll let me have some. I hear she is really going to like steak, yummy.
Ashlyn must have liked me so much that she came back to visit in October. Everyone is saying that she came back because of Patrick and Tracy's wedding but I am not so sure, she stayed at my house. She loved it when I jumped into bed with her. She also watched me wherever I went. I bet she was thinking about how much she wants to give me food. She would laugh and giggle whenever I went near her.
There was also another party at the house while she was here. A whole bunch of new people were here. Eating chili and carving pumpkins. I was a little high, but not too much, just enough to make me sleepy. But once again all the visitors thought I was 'so pretty and sweet'. I was too tired to snap at anyone. Maybe I am getting a little soft.
Mike and Denise are hoping so because apparently they are going to have litter. Oh I guess with humans it's not a litter, they are only having one at a time. Well I think I've brought you up to date.